Articles on Trauma and Relationships
How We Retraumatize Ourselves (and What to Do About It)
Much of what passes for healing can make complex trauma worse. Learn how biohacking, spiritual practices, and pushing through "resistance" retraumatize your nervous system.
Stop Shaking the Baby
High sensation seeking feels like aliveness, but it's often a sophisticated way to avoid healing. Learn why intensity keeps you stuck and how to find your way to calm.
When Tolerance is a Bad Thing
You'd say you were mostly fine. But underneath that "fine" is hopelessness you've learned to tolerate. Learn why insight alone doesn't heal complex trauma and what does.
Why It's Hard to Savor the Good Stuff (in Trauma Healing)
You've worked so hard for this life, but you can't let the good stuff in. Learn why trauma blocks pleasure, and how to teach your nervous system that feeling good is safe.
The Mask of High-Performance
You rarely rest because the dread starts the instant you pause. Learn why high performance masks unresolved trauma and what your hardworking part is really protecting you from.
10 Common Roadblocks to Healing Trauma (PTSD/CPTSD)
Minimizing. Numbing. Postponing. Denial. These are the roadblocks keeping your trauma stuck. Learn the 10 most common ones and why the best healing is gentler than you think.
What We Get Wrong About Numbness
Numbness isn't the absence of feeling. It's your nervous system's last line of defense. Learn why pushing through makes it worse and how to safely let feeling return.
Why It's Hard to Self-Soothe (with CPTSD)
Self-soothing isn't willpower. It's a skill your nervous system learns from safe others. If no one taught you, no amount of trying harder will change that. Here's why.
What Dissociation is Trying to Tell Us (about PTSD & CPTSD)
Dissociation is more than a failure to be present. It's your nervous system protecting you from what it can't yet process. Learn what it's trying to tell you and how to respond.
A Love Letter to Dissociation
Dissociation isn't weakness or failure. It's an ancient survival strategy trying to keep you safe. Learn why going to war with it only makes it stronger.
Why We Don't Need to Talk about Trauma
Talk therapy doesn't heal trauma. Trauma lives in the body, not the mind. Learn about Brainspotting — a fast, gentle approach that doesn't require you to relive the past.
Creativity and Trauma Healing
Post-traumatic growth brings back joy and connection. But creativity is often the last thing we reclaim, because our nervous systems still see it as a risk. Here's how to get it back.
Thrive on Purpose
Numbness isn't aging. Boredom isn't maturity. The grey flatness of your life is unresolved trauma dimming the volume on everything. Here's what's waiting on the other side.
The Reality of Post-Traumatic Growth
Post-traumatic growth is real. Here are 12 signs that your nervous system is healing, from feeling safe in your body again to enjoying intimacy and knowing what you need.