Don’t Let Trauma Run Your Relationships
Create the intimacy and connection you want instead.
Sexual & Relational Trauma Make Healthy Relationships Feel Risky (and Even Dangerous)
Past trauma distorts our present moment experience of safety and connection. We don’t mean to self-sabotage. But our bodies’ trauma responses are more interested in survival than happiness.
And they interrupt us just when we’re starting to feel close, so the relationships we hope will heal us end up causing even more confusion and pain. It can feel shameful or even hopeless to admit how much unresolved trauma — left unchecked — can destroy our adult relationships.
Especially with our partners.
Instead of enjoying intimacy and connection, we find ourselves shutdown and scared, overwhelmed and alone, even with our beloved partner right in front of us.
To our logical minds, it doesn’t make sense.
That’s because trauma lives in the body, and we need to work at the level of the nervous system to help it heal.
When we do, the connection, joy, and aliveness we always longed for is waiting for us. And we can step into enjoying the lives — and the relationships — we worked so hard to build.
The frame of my life has changed. I feel liberated. I'm a different person. I no longer suffer through my relationships."
How We Heal Complex Trauma (CPTSD)
Ease Anxiety & Overwhelm
Racing thoughts, tight chest, the inability to relax even when everything is fine: these are signs you’ve been at capacity for too long. When your nervous system learns to settle, you can finally exhale.
2. Move Through Numbness & Shutdown
Feeling dissociated, numb, or like you’re watching your life from a distance means you don’t feel safe. Learning how to reliably create inner safety will slowly bring your body back online.
3. Repair Conflict & Disconnection
You try not to withdraw or lash out, but it happens doing it anyway. That’s because trauma orients us to survival, not connection. When we interrupt the pattern, you can stay connected when it counts.
4. Reclaim Intimacy & Pleasure
Trauma blocks our ability to feel and enjoy the present moment, especially with our partners. When we restore your body’s capacity to feel good, you reclaim intimacy with your partner.
5. Resolve Triggers and Flashbacks
Flooding emotions that drag you back to the terror and aloneness of the past are some of the most confusing parts of complex trauma. We help your nervous system finally file those memories in the past, where they belong.
6. Restore Self-Trust and Self-Worth
You've likely spent years minimizing your needs and putting others first. We rebuild your relationship with yourself so you no longer talk yourself out of what you know and need. When you trust yourself again, you can finally receive and enjoy.
“You helped me shift the severe dissociation I have experienced my entire life. I feel so much more vibrancy, excited, lit up, and all the good things.”
Why Complex Trauma Needs More Than Talk Therapy
Understanding the past is just one step towards fixing it. But most of us stop there, and maybe wonder why years of investing in talk therapy still hasn’t shifted our sense of emptiness or overwhelm.
It’s easy to blame ourselves and think we just need to try harder. We secretly wonder if there’s something wrong with us. If our vigilance, inability to relax, and occasional spike of panic and despair are something we need to learn to live with.
Trauma symptoms come up because they want to heal.
Once we see this, we stop fighting with our nervous systems, minimizing and dismissing the impact we’ve been carrying all these years, and start experiencing real and lasting change.
Trauma is just our bodies’ response to being stuck in survival mode. Once we learn how to reliably and effectively shift it, the life that we’ve worked so hard to build is waiting to welcome us home.
How We Work Together
We work together for six months, meeting every two weeks for 90-minute sessions on Zoom.
I provide between-session support when you need it.
This work takes months, not years. And the investment yields a lifetime of returns.
About Elie
I know what it's like to build a successful life while carrying unresolved trauma, and how it shows up in our closest relationships.
My path to this work began with my own healing and continued through years of training with leaders in trauma resolution.
“As someone who has experienced many different modalities of healers — therapists, counsellors — your deep presence is among the very best I have experienced.”
Questions
Will this work for me?
Most people come to me having invested time and money in years of therapy, without getting the results they hoped for. The best way to discern if this work is a fit for you is to schedule a free one-hour call, where we’ll explore your needs and you’ll have a chance to experience the work.
Do I have to talk about what happened?
No. You can process trauma without narrating or reliving the details. Many clients heal significant wounds without ever telling me what happened.
Will our work disrupt my life?
Trauma healing doesn’t have to be hard. In fact, the most transformative results happen when we slowly, gently heal the nervous system and bring safety back to our bodies and relationships. We’ll work together to make sure your healing journey supports high-performance in every aspect of your life.
Will this work if therapy hasn't?
Yes. Most of my clients have done therapy and found it helpful for insight but not for shifting the symptoms in their bodies. This work goes where talk alone can't reach.
What are your rates?
I charge comparable rates to specialist psychotherapists. We can discuss specifics on our free exploratory call.
Can I bring my partner?
You are welcome to invite your partner to your sessions, to support your process. This can be especially supportive around sexual trauma healing. I also work with couples on healing sexual and relational trauma. You can learn more about my couples work here.
How do you work with sexuality?
Trauma of all kinds impacts intimacy & authentic sexual self-expression. I am trained to work in sexuality and support you as you navigate your goals and desires around pleasure and intimacy. While sexuality and sexual practices may be referenced in our sessions, there is no nudity, sexual expression, or sexual exchange between us.
Where do we meet?
We meet on secure, HIPAA-compliant Zoom. Sessions can be done from the privacy of your home, anywhere in the world.
“This is the first sense of relief and possibility that I've felt in a long time."
LEARN MORE
What is Internal Family Systems?
More about this paradigm-shifting approach to healing PTSD, CPTSD, and anxiety…
Trauma Specialist vs. Trauma Therapist?
What’s the difference between a trauma specialist (like me) & a trauma therapist?
Anxiety Symptoms
Intense anxiety is often misunderstood & can be a result of unresolved trauma. Here’s how my work can help.
Brainspotting & EMDR: What’s the Difference?
Compare & contrast to make an informed decision about what’s best for you.
Ready to Talk?
If you've read this far, something resonated. If you’re curious what this kind of trauma resolution work can look like, let’s explore.
Reach out and we’ll have a conversation about what's possible.