Articles on Trauma and Relationships
Anxiety is a Messenger
CPTSD anxiety isn't regular anxiety. It's a messenger from unresolved trauma. Learn five ways it shows up and why befriending it works better than managing it.
How We Retraumatize Ourselves (and What to Do About It)
Much of what passes for healing can make complex trauma worse. Learn how biohacking, spiritual practices, and pushing through "resistance" retraumatize your nervous system.
Stop Shaking the Baby
High sensation seeking feels like aliveness, but it's often a sophisticated way to avoid healing. Learn why intensity keeps you stuck and how to find your way to calm.
When Tolerance is a Bad Thing
You'd say you were mostly fine. But underneath that "fine" is hopelessness you've learned to tolerate. Learn why insight alone doesn't heal complex trauma and what does.
The Mask of High-Performance
You rarely rest because the dread starts the instant you pause. Learn why high performance masks unresolved trauma and what your hardworking part is really protecting you from.
The Strongest Nervous System Wins
In every room, the most settled nervous system sets the emotional tone. Learn how to become that person, whether you're leading a team or calming a fight with your partner.
What We Get Wrong About Numbness
Numbness isn't the absence of feeling. It's your nervous system's last line of defense. Learn why pushing through makes it worse and how to safely let feeling return.
The Intelligence of Flight
We're taught that standing your ground is strength. But the flight response is often smarter, saves more energy, and protects your relationships. Learn when leaving is the best move.
What Dissociation is Trying to Tell Us (about PTSD & CPTSD)
Dissociation is more than a failure to be present. It's your nervous system protecting you from what it can't yet process. Learn what it's trying to tell you and how to respond.
A Love Letter to Dissociation
Dissociation isn't weakness or failure. It's an ancient survival strategy trying to keep you safe. Learn why going to war with it only makes it stronger.
Presence, Not Perfection
Perfectionism seems like it’s about high standards, but it’s actually armor against rejection. Learn why trying to "get it right" sabotages the connection you're longing for, and what to practice instead.
Why to Plan for Aggression (in Trauma Healing)
You're finally healing and then you snap at the people helping you. That's the kickback — aggression that surfaces as your nervous system moves out of shutdown. It's normal.
More is Not More
You think intensity means progress. It doesn't. The Window of Tolerance is where healing happens, and you keep blowing past it. Learn why slowing down is the only way forward.
Why Stress Keeps Looping (and What to Do About It)
The stress won't stop because you haven't finished the cycle. Your nervous system is stuck in replay. Learn what completing a stress response actually looks like.
The Prison of Optimism
"Everything happens for a reason." When people force optimism on someone in pain, it shames them into silence. Learn why forced positivity is the opposite of support.