Articles on Trauma and Relationships
What Control Costs Us in Relationships
Controlling behaviors in intimate relationships often come from childhood. But control is the opposite of intimacy, and here's what it actually costs us.
You Are Not Food: Breaking Free from Non-Reciprocal Relationships
Growing up with entitled caregivers trained you to give without receiving. Learn why one-sided relationships keep repeating and how to stop being someone else's supply.
Managing CPTSD During Holiday Family Gatherings: 5 Essential Skills
Family gatherings activate old trauma patterns before you even realize it. Learn 5 essential skills for staying centered and connected when your nervous system says "run."
From Shame to Strength: Understanding Boundary Collapse in Relationships
You set a boundary. They push back. You fold. This 5-stage cycle is a hallmark of CPTSD. Learn why it happens and how to hold your ground without the shame spiral.
The Two Types of Boundaries
Most boundary advice is incomplete. There are two types: containing (holding yourself in) and protective (keeping what isn't yours out). Learn both to transform your relationships.
Warning Signs of Antagonistic and Entitled (aka "Narcissistic") Relationships
Dismissive, invalidating, manipulating, raging. Learn the 6 warning signs of entitled relationships, why people with trauma histories are especially vulnerable, and what to do about it.
The Intelligence of Flight
We're taught that standing your ground is strength. But the flight response is often smarter, saves more energy, and protects your relationships. Learn when leaving is the best move.
Knowing about DARVO Prevents Emotional Abuse
Deny. Attack. Reverse Victim and Offender. DARVO is the pattern emotional abuse follows. Learn it, and you'll never be confused by manipulation again.
Red Flags of Therapist Abuse (and Coaching Abuse)
When things go wrong in therapy, we blame ourselves. But our healing space should be the safest place we have. Learn 10 red flags that your practitioner isn't safe.
When Guilt is Good
You finally set a boundary and now you feel terrible. That guilt isn't actually a sign you did something wrong. It's proof you're breaking a trauma pattern. Learn why.
What Most People Get Wrong about Boundaries
You think boundaries are about getting other people to change. They're not. Boundaries are for you. This one shift changes everything about how you hold them.
Trauma and Self-Loyalty
You betray your boundaries to keep the peace. You abandon your needs to feel loved. Self-loyalty means refusing to treat yourself the way others treated you. Here's how.
The Sacred “No”
You were taught that your "no" was inconvenient. Now you freeze, fawn, or apologize when you should be holding your ground. Learn what was taken from you and how to get it back.