Articles on Trauma and Relationships
What's Underneath the Conflict
The same fight, over and over — it's not about communication. Trauma flashbacks drive recurring conflict. Here's what's underneath it, and what actually changes things.
How to Heal CPTSD Over the Holidays
The holidays don't have to mean white-knuckling through flashbacks. Learn a 5-step process to navigate CPTSD flashbacks and turn the holidays into healing.
Not Alone in the Dark
I spent decades waking in terror before I learned what my nervous system needed. This is the story of finding the wounded child inside and finally bringing her home.
The Disloyalty of Healing
Healing complex trauma means betraying the values your family taught you. Learn why getting better can feel like disloyalty, and why that betrayal is necessary.
Cultural Complicity and Complex Trauma
Society teaches us to dismiss childhood trauma and protect our parents from the truth. Learn why cultural silence perpetuates CPTSD and why speaking up is how we heal.
It Wasn't That Bad
"My parents had it worse." The smoothest denial keeps your childhood trauma locked away and your relationships stuck. Learn how to face what's real so you can finally heal.
The Inner Child Does Not Go on Vacation
The moment you try to rest, despair floods in. That's your inner child, asking for the care you never received. Learn what happens when you finally stop looking away.
What is Complex Trauma (CPTSD)?
Complex trauma doesn't come from a single event. It develops when love, safety, and connection go unmet over time. Learn the three hallmarks of CPTSD and why it hides so well.
Revenge of the Inner Child
Your inner child isn't always cute and playful. She's also terrified, furious, and not going away. Learn what happens when you stop running from the most wounded parts of you.
How We Sabotage Relationships Without Knowing It
You were punished before you could understand why. Now you project that wrongness onto the people you love. Learn how childhood shame creates relational sabotage.
The Holidays Require Special Skills
Everyone else is celebrating. You feel emptiness, dread, and a loneliness you can't explain. That's not a character flaw. It's developmental trauma surfacing during the holidays.
The Two Types of Trauma (and Why to Know the Difference)
You thought trauma looked like a war movie. It doesn't. There are two types, and the one most people carry is invisible, even to themselves. Learn the difference.
The Mother Inside
"I don't want you to write." My mother said it once. The part of me that copied her has said it a thousand times since. Learn how to reshape the inner caregiver who's still running your life.
The Prison of Optimism
"Everything happens for a reason." When people force optimism on someone in pain, it shames them into silence. Learn why forced positivity is the opposite of support.