Articles on Trauma and Relationships
When Couples Therapy Doesn't Work (and What to Do About It)
Talk psychotherapy fails couples by focusing on communication when the underlying issue is actually trauma. We end up questioning the relationship, but it's usually the therapy.
What's Underneath the Conflict
The same fight, over and over — it's not about communication. Trauma flashbacks drive recurring conflict. Here's what's underneath it, and what actually changes things.
What’s Wrong with Being Right
Being right feels like safety. But as a relational strategy, it backfires spectacularly. Learn where the need to be right comes from and how to choose connection instead.
The 7 Steps of Relationship Repair
Most couples don't know how to repair after conflict. These 7 steps, from Relational Life Therapy, create a reliable path back to connection every time.
How to Feel Deeply Heard (When Trauma Makes it Hard)
You speak up but never feel heard. The problem isn't your partner. It's that you're getting the wrong kind of listening. Learn how to ask for what you actually need.
Safety Strategies (that Always Fail) in Relationships
Being right. Control. Withdrawal. Retaliation. These strategies kept you safe in childhood. Now they're destroying your relationships. Learn what to do instead.