Articles on Trauma and Relationships
How We Punish the People We Love
Retaliation is anger that learned the only way to be heard is to be hurtful. Even though we apologize after, the damage is done.
How to Do Relationship Repair
"I'm sorry" isn't enough. Real relationship repair requires contrition, accountability, and amends. Learn the 3-part process that actually heals what arguments break.
The 7 Steps of Relationship Repair
Most couples don't know how to repair after conflict. These 7 steps, from Relational Life Therapy, create a reliable path back to connection every time.
The 3 Foundations of Intimacy (and Relationship Repair)
Accountability, empathy, and vulnerability are the foundations of lasting intimacy. Learn why most couples skip them and how to build them, especially after trauma.
How to Feel Deeply Heard (When Trauma Makes it Hard)
You speak up but never feel heard. The problem isn't your partner. It's that you're getting the wrong kind of listening. Learn how to ask for what you actually need.
How to Support a Partner with Trauma
Your partner has trauma and you don't know how to help. Learn how to recognize flashbacks, intervene with care, and create the safety that makes healing possible.
How to Create Secure Relationships (With Trauma in the Mix)
Trauma distorts how you attach. But attachment styles aren't fixed. Learn 10 ways to build security with your partner, even when your nervous system says closeness isn't safe.